Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
