And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
