If i come over, it means nothing
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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