I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize