Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
