You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
