Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
