Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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