I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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