even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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