she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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