so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
