am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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