that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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