meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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