Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
