apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
