so that wasnt chicken after all
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
