No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
