Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
