First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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