she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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