I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
