i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Shame - the story of my life.
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