Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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