Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
