Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
