I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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