You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I touched a dick in church today
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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