FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
