i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
