He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize