It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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