I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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