Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
