how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
