lets start a swedish sibling band together
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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