You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
