U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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