Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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