remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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