Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
