I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Holy sore nipples Batman
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
