It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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