god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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