just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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