I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
