it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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