Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
