did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
