so that wasnt chicken after all
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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