Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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