If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
