I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
