This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
