I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think my mom watched the whole time
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
