i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
